8-1
by HR always live on
Summary: A retelling of episode 8-1 with a big emphasis on Harry and Ruth. Both George and Nico don't exist here, and I think it's going to get a bit darker later on. Enjoy! Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

**So I've had this multi chapter fic half done for months. I'm hoping posting the start will give me the inspiration to finish this. Set 8-1 where George doesn't exist.**

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><p>Harry pressed his wrists against the handcuffs, trying to see if there was any give in them. There wasn't. He sighed and watched the door as Mani and a group of thugs came in, Ruth being led in. He felt his heart sink as she was led to the chair opposite him, even though he'd half expected them to find Ruth, and bring her here. He felt so torn, on the one hand being happy to see her, on the other wishing she was safe and far away from the mess MI5 created for her.<p>

"Hello Harry," she said gently.

"Hi," he said gently. He knew full well his voice was much softer when he was around her, but he couldn't help it. Her lips twitched slightly and he also couldn't help the replying lift of his own lips in response.

"So," Mani said, interrupting both of their private thoughts, very few of which involved the Indian. "Shall we get on with it?"

"What do you want from me?" Ruth asked, looking at Mani.

"In good time," he said. "I've got all the time in the world. Your friends have no idea where you are. So don't hold out hope of a rescue when..." Mani's mobile rang and he looked at it before saying, "excuse me." Once he'd left the room, both Harry and Ruth looked at each other, so many things unsaid brimming in their eyes.

"Are we…?" Ruth asked.

"I don't know," Harry said. "But I would imagine yes. We're being watched."

"Yes, I thought that," Ruth said. She smiled lightly. "I never thought I'd see you again."

Even in the less than ideal circumstances, she smiled at him, warm and honest. In an instant it was as if the past three years separation had never happened. They'd evaporated in a flash.

"No," Harry agreed. "I didn't think I'd ever see you either."

"What does he want?" Ruth asked.

"Baghdad. Uranium."

"Oh."

"Oh indeed," he said. "How are you?"

"Before today, you mean?"

"Yes."

"I've been well," she said. Her fingers itched to take Harry's hands in her own, but even if she hadn't been cuffed, she didn't know if she'd have been brave enough to make the move. "Life has been… a lot calmer than London. A lot slower and… well, to be honest, a little mundane at times."

He smiled at her, eyes sparkling. "Ruth…"

"No," she interrupted. "Not now."

"You don't know what I was going to say," he said.

"Yes I do," she said. "God, how is it that the years just don't matter at all?" She shook her head. "I've missed you too, Harry." He smiled and opened his mouth to say something, when Mani came back in, and he promptly closed it.

"So, I think you can guess what I'm after," Mani said, standing between the two of them. "Where's the uranium?"

"What uranium?" Ruth asked, before she could stop herself.

"Don't play with me," Mani said, crouching down so he was facing directly at her. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Baghdad, hmm?"

"Oh, that," Ruth said. "You expect me to know, do you?"

"I think you do know," Mani said. Harry was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the amount of attention this Indian was giving Ruth, but knew he could do nothing about it.

"You really think Harry Pearce would have confided in his subordinate, do you?" Ruth asked. Harry knew she was playing an angle, but that still stung. "Harry doesn't confide in anyone, he keeps his own counsel. He trusts no one but himself, even if you think he trusts me."

"Mm, maybe," Mani said. He moved in front of Ruth, so she couldn't see Harry at all. "But I assumed that since the two of you had been fucking for years, he might have made an exception."

"Why?" Ruth asked, keeping her composure remarkably well. "Why would he tell me? What would be the point?"

"Ruth, I know you know," Mani said, straightening up and pacing again. "Just tell me. This will all be a lot simpler if you tell the truth."

"I don't know where it is," Ruth said. Harry caught her eye for a moment, but he was inscrutable. Training she supposed, training for situations like this. "Harry told me where he was supposedly keeping it. But he lied to me." Now she _could_ read his face. Surprise that she'd known that he'd lied. "He told me it was in an abandoned coldwar shelter in Norfolk. But he lied. He didn't trust me with the truth."

"It was to protect you," Harry interjected. "From a situation like this."

"I know that," she said with a little smile.

"How did you know I lied?" he asked. "Did you go and check?"

"Oh, God, Harry. I know you. I know when you're lying to me. I didn't need to check." He smiled at her for a moment. A smile filled with warmth and something more, but it was gone too quickly for her to be sure.

"Well, this is all very touching, but back to business," Mani said as he started pacing the room. 


	2. Chapter 2

Mani's eyes flicked between Harry and Ruth, as if he were debating the weakest link. They settled on Ruth. "Do you really not know?"

"I don't," she said. "But then, I don't really expect you to believe me."

"Intelligent woman," Mani said with an inclination of his head. "And your reputation precedes you in that regard."

"I'm sure I'm not here against my will simply for you to flatter my intellect," Ruth said. She didn't know why she wanted to annoy him, but she did. This status quo, where their terrorist or interrogator was behaving civilly and with a façade of reasonableness was starting to irritate her.

"I might believe you, that Harry didn't confide in you," Mani said. "Which means that I have to do the more difficult task of breaking Harry Pearce. Not something I relish."

"Mani, there's no incentive for me to tell you anything," Harry said, trying to take the attention off of Ruth, even momentarily. "I tell you where the uranium is, you kill us. I don't tell you, you kill us. I have no benefit."

"If you tell me now, I will let both of you leave unharmed."

Harry snorted. "We're meant to rely on the word of someone who wants weapons grade uranium to… to what? What do you want to do with it, if you ever got it?"

"_When_ I get it," Mani said. "I intend to sell it to the highest bidder."

"Even if the bidder is extremists?" Harry asked.

"What do I care?" Mani said. "I want the large pay day. And we were all meant to know where the uranium was, that was the deal, Harry. We all agreed. You lied to everyone."

"I kept it safe," Harry said.

"And this is the result of that," Mani said, indicating the room, the bodyguards and Ruth in one flick of his hand. "Might have been easier to just stick to the agreement, eh Harry?"

"No one signs up to MI5, or any security service the world over… and expects this to never possibly happen. We know the chance when we take the job. And every decision we make could one day come back to bite us."

"Speaking of which, I need to get busy." They both watched as Mani walked away, to a table pushed against the wall. They'd both noticed it, but were more concerned with other things than giving it much attention. They now wished they had, as Mani came back into view, holding a wicked looking kitchen knife. Harry and Ruth looked at each other, and both were thinking exactly the same thing. Mani was going to turn on Ruth, to either get her to speak, or get Harry to. Everyone in the room knew, from Harry's history that he could withstand quite a substantial amount of pain, and that would take both a significant amount of time and effort. Far easier (from Mani's point of view, anyway) to hurt Ruth.

She breathed in deeply several times and closed her eyes. Harry desperately wanted to hold her, but it was impossible. He knew she was trying to calm herself down, he recognised the signs, but that wasn't really going to help here. Mani was both clinical and clever. He made sure that both Harry and Ruth could look at each other as he pushed the knife into Ruth's upper arm. Harry didn't look. As soon as the knife moved in Mani's grip, he looked down at his hands, picking his nails, instead of watching it sink into her skin. He needed to pretend indifference, to pretend that this wouldn't make him move, or persuade him to divulge what he knew. But the moment the metal pierced her flesh, he could hear her cries and groans, even when she was trying to keep them to herself, to be silent.

"Look at her," Mani said quietly. "This is all your fault, Harry."

"I'm not holding the knife, Mani. This is not my fault." Harry kept his eyes on the Indian, not on Ruth. He could hear her gasping for breath, attempting to breathe through the pain, but if he looked at her, he might fall apart. And he couldn't risk that.

"When it comes down to it, you're no better than they are," Harry said quietly. "You'd resort to exactly the same behaviour as your enemies. How is any of this helpful?"

Mani pushed the knife a little deeper into Ruth's flesh and she moaned lowly. For the first time since Mani had hurt her, Harry looked at her. Her face had gone pale, eyes closed as she tried to breathe in and out. Sweat was beading on her brow, but at first glance the wound didn't look too bad. Or, he mentally edited, it wasn't bleeding that much and it was superficial. Not that he thought it didn't hurt, he could see it hurt like hell. Mani's eyes were gleaming as he watched Ruth. He assumed Harry would break, but he couldn't. Not for this, even if it were to save Ruth. So, hating himself, he turned to the Indian.

"Mani, I'm not going to break. You might as well save your time and energy."

"What if I slit her throat?" he suggested quite calmly. Ruth stiffled a gasp and Harry purposefully didn't look at her. If he didn't have three body guards surrounding him, he might make a break for it, but he knew it would achieve nothing in the long run. And could only hurt himself and Ruth more. It was still tempting to try something anyway, only his hands were cuffed and no escape was likely. At least without help from the grid.

"What good would that do you?" he asked. "If she's dead, then what do you have left to threaten me with? Nothing."

"Your own life," Mani said simply. "Is that incentive?"

"It's all a matter of personal value," Harry said, keeping calm with difficulty. "What one person most values might mean nothing to another. In this case, my life means less to me than hers does. But I think you already know that. Otherwise you'd be pushing that knife into my arm, not hers."

Ruth moaned lowly as Mani pushed the tip of the knife a fraction deeper into her flesh, starting to twist. Harry's eyes snapped to her blue ones, as he felt a flash of fury go through him. Even after three years apart, he could still tell what she was thinking. She looked in pain, frightened and a little defiant. She didn't want Harry to tell Mani where the uranium was, he could see it as clear as day. He hadn't worked with her for so long to not be able to read her.

Mani turned to watch Harry's reaction as he twisted the knife a little more, making Ruth cry out in pain. The Indian made sure to stand behind Ruth as he hurt her, so Harry could see exactly how much pain she was in. He schooled his face into impassivity, a life times worth of training, even though inside he was screaming. Watching Harry, Mani lost his patience. He pulled the knife out of Ruth, making her groan with pain as she started bleeding freely from the wound, darkening her blouse horribly. She breathed in little gasps, eyes closed from the pain and Harry vowed that whatever happened, Mani would not survive this.

Mani cursed under his breath. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Leave you two to think about your predicament," he told them, before leaving them alone, Harry's bodyguards following Mani out, but one staying by the door. Harry instantly moved towards her and moved his bound hands so he could help her. He pressed both of his hands against the wound to staunch the blood flow, feeling worse than useless.

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><p><strong>More soon, thanks for the encouragement for Ch 1. <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. Blame work! Also, I really hope both Harry and Ruth aren't too out of character here. They are, after all, under a lot of pressure. Enjoy.**

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><p>"God, Harry, that hurts," she whispered as he pushed his palms against her arm<p>

"I know," he said. "But you're not bleeding to death if I can help it."

"It's "only" my arm." She breathed in deeply, her voice shaking a little. "Not likely to bleed to death from that."

"I don't like how much you're bleeding," he said honestly.

"Mm," she said, far too quietly for his liking.

"No, Ruth," he said. "You have to stay awake."

"I feel light headed," she said.

"I know, just keep your eyes open for me." She sighed, but did as he asked, looking into his beautiful hazel eyes. Eyes that were at the moment clouded with concern. He forced a smile towards her. "Where've you been living when you were away?" he asked gently. She blinked at him, bewildered. "I meant..."

"Oh," she said, realising. "You're trying to take my mind off things. Change the subject and all that."

"Worth a shot," he said, lips twitching.

She ghosted a laugh, but the movement hurt her so she stopped fairly quickly. "You can't tell him, Harry," she said. "You know that, don't you?"

"Yes," he said. "But I can't see you die in front of me either," he added, a note of desperation creeping into his voice. "I can't."

"We all know the risks to the job when we sign up," she said. "Not that I want to die, I don't. But if I did, it wouldn't be your fault. I didn't have to… I didn't have to do any of this. I made my choices, not you."

"I didn't want you to leave," he said lowly. "You know that."

"Of course I do," she said. "You were being stubborn, determined to go to prison for me."

"I might have," he said, smiling even under the circumstances.

"We wasted so much time, Harry," she said, shaking her head. "It seems a shame now."

"Ruth, don't talk like it's already over. The team will be looking for us. It can't be long now."

"It doesn't take that long for a bullet to go through my brain."

"Ruth!" he shouted in anguish. "Don't. I can't... Just... Please."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She hadn't thought about how talking about her own death might affect him. "Sorry. Let go of me for a minute." She nodded at her wounded arm and he did let go, reluctantly. The bleeding had slowed significantly but by no means stopped. She reached for him and cradled his face with her bound hands. "I'm sorry," she repeated, sealing the statement with a little kiss, pressed against his lips. He felt too surprised to respond, and then it was over. "I assume that because we're not tied to the chairs, there's no way out of here," she said, in a matter of fact way, changing the subject of their conversation away from them, their relationship and onto more practical things.

"I think not," he said, replacing his hands on her wound. She winced at the pressure, but said nothing. "I'm also fairly sure we're being watched."

Ruth shrugged, then moaned under her breath at the pain. "I don't think he'll kill me," she said. "Or not yet, anyway. Not until the grid catches up with him. You know him, what... is he capable of?" She made herself finish the sentence, determined to brave it out.

"I don't know him," Harry said. "I've conversed with him in several meetings and I know of him and his reputation, but I don't know him nearly well enough to answer that question honestly. And I won't lie to you."

"Okay," she said. "Well, thanks for being honest anyway."

"I wont let him hurt you."

"Harry, don't be ridiculous. You're not going to be in any position to stop him." She shook her head again. "And besides, he's already hurt me."

"I wish he was going after me," Harry said under his breath.

"I know you do," she said. "And so does Mani, that's the point." He sighed heavily, as if from the very soul.

"This would not be the circumstances I'd choose for us to be meeting again," he said. "After Cotterdam."

"No," she agreed. "I..." She didn't get any further as Mani and his hired thugs came back into the room. They noticed Harry's moved position and Mani smiled in a way which chilled her to the bone.

"Shall I continue or do you want to just cut this short and tell me where the uranium is?"

"You know I can't do that." Harry said carefully and slowly. Mani nodded to one of the thugs and Ruth screamed before Harry was fully aware of what happened. Another knife had sunk deep into her thigh, until all Harry could see was the hilt and her blood staining her skirt dark. That would be very close to the femoral vein. So, these hired thugs had a certain degree of medical knowledge. If that move had gone wrong, she'd have bled to death within a minute which wouldn't have given Mani the leverage he wanted. Of course, all of these observations were just distracting him from the amount of pain Ruth was in, and her heavy breathing, gasping and moaning all too audible in the small room.

"Where is it?" Mani asked.

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><p><strong>More (hopefully) soon.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

"Where is it?"

"I..."

"If I twist this knife a little, it might just clip her femoral vein and then she will be dead. In moments." Mani rested his hand on the knife hilt and the pressure made Ruth cry out.

"Please don't," Ruth panted to Mani, begging for him not to hurt her any further.

"Harry can make this all end very quickly," he said softly to her. "It's his fault you're in this pain." She didn't look at him, instead closing her eyes through the pain.

Harry made a snap decision. "Get me a map."

"Of?"

"England."

"Certainly." He nodded to one of his hired thugs who left, and then turned back to them both, smiling. A chilling predatory smile that made Harry think he wasn't getting out of this alive. No matter what Mani said. "This is an interesting turn of events," Mani said, beginning to crow. Harry recognised the signs of someone who'd thought he'd won, and Harry had to focus on Mani. If he focused on Ruth instead, he'd start to panic and fall apart. Which would get them killed much faster. Ruth was in pain, but alive, and right now that was the important thing.

Mani's mobile rang, interrupting his crowing and he answered it, swiftly leaving the room, but leaving some of the body guards present. Ruth ignored them, looking at Harry.

"You're not seriously going to tell him, are you?" she asked. The sentence came out in pants and in between heavy breathing. Harry looked at her eyes, slipping in and out of focus as she fought to keep hold of consciousness. She'd really lost too much blood and he didn't know how long she had without medical attention. The knife hilt was sticking out of her leg and he swallowed away the lump in his throat at seeing it. "Harry!" she said, making him look at her face,

"I have to tell him," he said, very aware of the thugs standing guard over the pair of them. Aware that he couldn't tell her the truth right now. _Please, read me_, he thought desperately. _Don't let the three year separation dim your skills. Look at me and know I'm lying to buy us time._

"Ruth, look at me," he said. When she did, he smiled slightly "I can't let this go on. I have to tell him..." he tailed off, meaningfully and she suddenly knew what he was doing.

"Okay," she said. She wrapped her hands around the knife.

"No, don't," he said urgently. "I know it hurts, but it's stopping it from bleeding right now. And it's keeping you awake. You have to stay here."

"God, Harry, you don't want much from me, do you?"

"Ruth, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

"Yes," she agreed without hesitation. "It is." He wanted to laugh, but instead he pulled his chair closer to hers, which was awkward with his tied hands. When he'd managed it, he leaned close to whisper in her ear, so the guards wouldn't hear. Or at least, he could pretend they couldn't hear him.

"I'll make it up to you," he murmured. "When we're out of this, I'll make it up to you. I promise."

"I'll hold you to that," she said. He smiled, then pressed a kiss to her cheek before he could think better of it.

The door opened and Mani unfolded the map expectantly. "I want Ruth released before I tell you anything," Harry said. "She needs a hospital."

"No, I'm afraid that's not possible," Mani said with a sneer.

"I have nothing except your, quite frankly, abysmal word to keep her safe once I tell you where the uranium is. Your word right now isn't good enough."

"That's all I have," Mani said. "You have to decide whether it's worth telling me, or shall I keep hurting her to prove my point?"

Harry and Mani glared at each other, both wanting the other to back down first. Neither was budging. Mani broke the stalemate by swiftly pulling the knife out of Ruth's thigh, making her cry out in pain, not quite a scream. Harry winced at the sound and tried to cover it, but he wasn't quick enough and Mani saw it. The Indian thrust the map at Harry with impatience as Ruth gasped in the background, her hands trying to stem the flow of blood.

"I can't unfold the map with my hands cuffed," Harry said harshly. Mani did it, putting it on a table which one of his henchmen had dragged across to them. Harry looked at it critically and pointed to an area he knew to be abandoned, some way south of Nottingham. Nothing but empty farmland now. "There," he said. His voice had become rough with stress and everyone in the room knew it. "It's buried under some wasteland there. Now let her go."

"Bahara jana da!" Mani shouted to the room at large, making everyone move. "Aurata nu chada ke jana usa nu sade nala hauli hovoge. Usa ne sade nala a," he added, nodding at Harry. He was pushed to his feet and shoved towards the door.

"You said you'd let her go."

"I'm not holding her any more," Mani said simply. "She's free to walk on out of here if she likes."

"You've almost cut her leg in two," Harry growled. "How can she possibly walk? She could have bled to death by the time anyone finds her here," Harry said lowly. "I told you where the uranium is to avoid her death, not make it a certainty."

"Harry…" her voice was weak, but her eyes were bright with intensity. "I'll be fine."

"Ruth, don't try and…"

"Really, I will," she said. She forced a smile which looked completely out of place on her face, which was white with the strain and the injuries she was suffering with. Apart from her eyes, and the deep red blood staining her hands, there was no colour about her at all. She looked small, Harry realised. Never before had he ever seen that.

"Harry, come back," she whispered, ignoring all the other men in the room. He looked at her and she him, the way they'd always looked at each other. Such powerful glances which put into words the things they couldn't say. They both knew that once Mani had the Uranium, or not as the case may be, he would shoot Harry. He'd be little more than a liability once he'd outlived his usefulness. They only weren't shooting him now, because they needed to be sure he'd told the truth. Both Harry and Ruth could read the situation perfectly.

"Ruth, just… take care of your leg," he said. Harry'd been ignoring the shoves he'd been getting in the back to look at Ruth for as long as he could. He wasn't entirely sure he'd get another chance. He still had his eyes fixed on her when a black bag was thrown over his head, masking his vision completely. The imprint of her face was still with him long after they'd thrown him in the car boot and driven off. He hoped he'd see her again before he died.

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><p><strong>Translation of Punjabi (probably hopelessly incorrect, so apologies):<strong>

**"Bahara jana da! Move out!" Mani shouted to the room at large, making everyone move. "Aurata nu chada ke jana usa nu sade nala hauli hovoge. Leave the woman, she'll just slow us down. Usa ne sade nala a, But he comes with us," he added, nodding at Harry.**

**Thank you for the reviews so far, and I've now left them in a bit of a mess haven't I? More soon.**


	5. Chapter 5

Harry had always been claustrophobic. No one knew that about him, and he'd taken great pains to hide it. It wasn't useful in his career to show any kind of weakness, and he always thought he could cope with it. Until it happened. _Breathe __Harry,_ he told himself. It was made much harder by the fabric covering his head, pressing against his mouth, making deep breaths impossible. He'd intended to lie about the uranium being as far away from London to buy time. But what good was a couple of extra hours if he was cramped in a car boot unable to breathe?

Ruth will be fine he told himself. Of course she would be. She had to be. Ad if he focused on that, on the look on her face, then he could try and forget how hard it was to draw air into his lungs.

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><p>Ruth waited until all the footsteps had died away and listened hard. A car engine started up, then blended into the other sounds of London traffic. Only after a good five minutes did she move. Both of her injuries were on her right side, so she stood on her left foot, with difficulty. There was a blacked out window maybe ten paces away from her. If she could get to it and smash it, then she could possibly attract attention and get out of this mess. She put her right foot to the floor and nearly passed out. Even without her weight on her injured leg, the pain was blinding and she felt black spots swimming at the edges of her vision. After a moments consideration, she did an awkward hop  shuffle movement to try and get closer to the window. It worked, marginally. She closed her eyes as she made her slow progress to the window, but then she slipped. Accidentally putting her weight on her right leg, her knees gave way and she crumpled to the floor.

"No… no…" she murmured, knowing if she collapsed she wouldn't have the energy or the ability to get back up again. She screamed in frustration as her body gave up. The pain felt intense, her leg throbbing with her heartbeat and her blood all over the floor. She sighed, feeling consciousness start to leave her. She felt so light headed that she couldn't keep going, couldn't stay awake for much longer._ Oh Harry_, she thought sadly as she closed her eyes.

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><p>"…aramedics up here now. Ruth, can you hear me?" She knew that voice. A woman. Oh, who was it. "Open your eyes, Ruth." She did, very wearily and a face swam into view. Ros, she saw with recognition. That was it. "Harry…" she said, as soon as her brain woke up. "Harry. Is he?"<p>

"We're not entirely sure where he is," Ros said.

"They took him to Nottingham," Ruth said heavily. "An abandoned wasteland… to the south."

"Are you sure?" Ros asked. Ruth nodded. "Lucas!"

"Yeah," he said shortly, dialling quickly on his mobile.

"They'll kill him," Ruth said. "Soon. When they've got no more use for him."

"I know," Ros said shortly, moving aside as the paramedics came to take care of Ruth. "We'll get to him first. Don't worry." Ros's words meant nothing though. All she could do was worry.

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><p>The car slowed down and Harry forcibly tried to get his breathing and his panic under control. They couldn't be there yet, they'd not been driving long enough. Even though it felt like it'd been days, he knew it wasn't long enough to get to Nottingham. Then he heard gunshots, lots of them. Praying they didn't hit the back of the car, Harry stayed still, heart thumping hard. Please be the grid, one of his team. Somebody to get him out of this. If it was someone from the grid, that meant they'd found Ruth. And she'd be all right, if that was the case. Of course she would, she wouldn't have bled to death. No. He couldn't contemplate that. Outside the car, there was silence, the shots having faded away. Then the boot opened and a hand grabbed the bag off of his head. Harry breathed in beautiful fresh air as he laid eyes on Lucas.<p>

"Ruth?" he asked before he could think of anything else. He was too tired to pretend he was concerned about anything else. To pretend that anything else mattered one inch.

"She'll be fine." He must have looked sceptical because Lucas continued. "She's in hospital, she's had a blood transfusion, she'll recover. Now get out of the car." Harry did, holding up his bound hands to Lucas, who quickly cut through the plastic cable ties. "Are you all right?" he asked as Harry looked around, seeing CO19 checking the driver of the car. Harry felt nothing but relief to see that Mani had half his brain on the car seat. Good riddance.

"I'm fine," Harry said with a shrug. He was, by and large. "Get me back to London." Lucas didn't argue at all, and nodded to the helicopter. How had Harry not heard that approaching? Had he been that wrapped up in his thoughts and blinding panic that he hadn't heard it? God knows. It wasn't important now.

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><p>Ruth felt foggy and she didn't like feeling that way. Lying in a hospital bed, doped up on painkillers and worried about Harry. Ros had told her that he was safe and coming back to London. But knowing wasn't quite the same as seeing. She sighed wanting, in lieu of seeing Harry, to be out of hospital as quickly as possible. She picked at the iv attached on the back of her hand, wanting to get out of there and debating discharging herself. Then the door opened and she smiled with pure relief.<p>

"Harry."

"How are you?" he asked softly.

"I'll live," she said. "Come in." He'd been hesitating by the open doorway, seeming nervous. He did, closing the door with a quiet click. He sat next to her, smiling slightly.

"I thought you might be…"

"I'm fine," she said. "Honestly."

"I'm glad," he said. He took her hand on her uninjured side and squeezed it gently, making her smile.

"Are you hurt?" she asked

"No," he said. "Lucas got to me in time." Ruth nodded, and felt the old familiar awkwardness beginning to creep back in. When she'd seen him in the abandoned warehouse, they'd both been under pressure that they weren't used to, and probably said things they wouldn't normally have done. Harry squeezed her hand tightly again.

"Can you get me out of here?" she asked. "I don't want to be stuck here, being poked and prodded."

"Are you sure?" he asked gently. She nodded fervently. "I meant…"

"Harry…" they spoke at the same time, words bumping into each other. "You go," she said.

"I meant what I said," he said, low voiced. "When we were trapped with Mani. That your life is more valuable to me than anything else." She felt a little overwhelmed, and looked away from him. "I'll get your discharge papers signed," he added, dropping her hand and getting up.

"Is Mani…"

"Dead," Harry said shortly.

"And the uranium?"

"Safe," Harry said.

"Are you going to tell me where it is?"

"I can't," Harry said. "I no longer know. It's been… relocated."

"Ah," Ruth said softly. "Maybe it's just as well."

"Maybe," Harry said. "I'll get your forms." And he turned and left.

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><p><strong>So this was tying off all the loose ends, and I hope it's okay. More HR soon.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry, I didn't mean to leave it so long between chapters. Enjoy.**

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><p>Harry felt highly uncomfortable in the car. Ruth hadn't said a word since they'd left the hospital and he was beginning to worry. After all, she'd only been tortured because he refused to tell Mani the truth, even under the pressure he'd been subjected to. Which meant Ruth was currently living through a lot of unnecessary pain. He sighed to himself as he turned into the street that led to his house.<p>

"We're..." Ruth said quietly as he pulled into his driveway.

"At my house, yes," he agreed, turning the engine off. "I didn't know what you wanted... where you wanted to go. I assumed you wouldn't want to live in an MI5 safe house after everything, and a hotel felt wrong." She was still silent and he sighed again, heavily. "After all, officially you're still..."

"Dead, I know," she said shortly. Then she looked at him, truly looked at him. "I'm sorry," she said. "I know this isn't your fault. None of it is. I'm just... in pain and feeling down. That's all."

"Ruth... I could have..."

"No, Harry," she said. "You couldn't. You did what you thought was right and you will never hear recriminations from me for that. You bought us time, you kept us alive. I don't blame you." She reached across and put her hand on his thigh, gently. He could feel the heat of her palm and he swallowed away the lump in his throat with difficulty. After a few brief moments, he couldn't take it and he lifted her palm with his, squeezing her hand tightly.

"You can go somewhere else if you'd prefer..."

"No, Harry," she said. "It's great. Thank you."

They went inside, Ruth taking a great deal of time to get into the house, what with her leg and arm both being injured. Harry didn't offer to help, even though he badly wanted to. He'd tried in the hospital to help her and she'd said that she didn't want his help. He understood that she didn't like feeling helpless, but still...

Ruth sat at the kitchen table, by which time Harry had made tea and he gave her her mug. "Still one sugar?"

"Yes," she said gently, wrapping her fingers around the warm mug. "How are you?" she asked. "I mean... what with Mani and everything we never really... well, you know."

"I'm okay," he said, appreciating the effort at normality. "Still saving the world every other month."

"Is that all?" she quipped with a slight smile. "How are things on the grid?"

"Generally, they're okay. We still fight on. You know how it is."

"I do," she agreed.

"Do you miss it?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"Yes," she said, a warm smile on her face. "I miss the feeling that I made a difference. I was doing something worthwhile and my input meant something. Over the last three years, I haven't had that."

"What've you been doing?" he asked.

"Working in a bookshop on the outskirts of Prague," she said. "I thought I'd love to do something that simple and easy. But I didn't. After a while I became bored and... well, a little homesick I guess. If that doesn't sound too stupid."

"No," he said. "Im going to... try to sort things out with the Home Secretary. Because I don't like that you're legally dead and I want it fixed." He expected her face to lighten, but it didn't. Instead she looked much darker and upset. "What is it?"

"You've had three years, Harry," she said. "Three years to clear my name and you haven't. Every day I wanted to come home and hoped there'd be news, or a coded message. Something, but there was never anything that helped get me home. Why now?" He didn't know what to say. "Was it simply "out of sight, out of mind"?" she asked.

"No!" he said sharply. "Never that. I thought of you every day, Ruth. I hated being apart from you, I wanted to see your smile everyday. But I couldn't. And it hurt, Ruth. I've been trying to see if it's politically possible to have your name cleared for ages, and Malcolm's been doing his usual trickery to attempt to get you home. We just… haven't been very successful."

"Oh," she said sadly. "Okay."

"I don't know if I'll be successful with the Home Secretary when I ask, but after last time, I think I will." Ruth looked at him so he elaborated. "He said if you were hidden somewhere in Britain, it would be easier to have your name cleared, but he wouldn't waste time or man power tracking you down. And then it became more complicated because of other nations services and…well, it became much more difficult, as Malcolm and I found out when we tried it. I tried to look for you." She smiled, but still looked away from him.

"Ruth, I didn't stop thinking of you once." He hesitated before carrying on, but then said it anyway. "There hasn't been anyone else."

That did catch her attention and she looked at him. "In three years?" she questioned, slightly disbelievingly.

"No," he said. "Why would I want anyone else?" She blushed but didn't look away, which surprised him.

"Before you ask, no," she said. "There's no one. No one waiting for me in Prague. Or anywhere else for that matter."

"Has there been?" he asked while they were hovering on the subject. "Over the last three years, I mean. Has there been…" The silence was uncomfortable so he shook his head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be asking that."

"Have I had a relationship? No, I haven't. I did sleep with someone, once."

"It's not really my business…" he said.

"No," she agreed. "But if you'd slept with a woman while we were… well… apart, I'd want to know."

"I haven't," he said, answering her silent question. "Why did you?" He'd ever normally ask her this, but as they were being so open, he felt it was a little idiotic to pass up the opportunity. Maybe her painkillers were stronger than he'd anticipated. Or maybe being held and tortured had realigned her priorities.

"I was lonely," she said simply. "And for a few moments, I felt less alone. That's all."  
>She reached across the table and touched the back of his hand gently, smiling slightly.<p>

"Ruth, we don't talk like this. Ever."

"Not usually," she said. She sighed heavily, which turned into a yawn. "Sorry, I'm tired."

"Go to bed," he said. She raised her eyebrows at the implied suggestion. "I… meant… the spare room will be very comfortable, and it has a lock on the door if you're worried."

"I know what you meant," she said. "Don't worry. And yes, I think sleeping would be a good idea." She took her hand away from his, then stood up, grimacing with the pain. "And no. I don't need help getting upstairs."

"Okay," he said, letting her go. "First door on the left." He didn't move from the table until she'd got upstairs, making her way painfully slowly. He itched to help her, but knew he couldn't. He heard the bedroom door close and sighed with relief. At least she'd stop putting pressure on her leg, and that was something.

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><p><strong>More soon. Thanks for being patient!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

Harry unlocked his front door and disabled the alarm, before closing his eyes and sighing. It'd been a long day with annoying politicians making life difficult for him. But he had Ruth's passport, and that was all that mattered in the end. Not the fact that he was getting home at one in the morning, having left Ruth alone all day. He knew she'd be fine, but he still worried.

Going into the kitchen, he saw that she'd eaten from the dishes in the sink. There was also a note on the table, and her handwriting shook a little as a result of the stab wound on her arm, but it was still recognisably Ruth's handwriting.

_Harry,_  
><em>I helped myself from the fridge, hope you don't mind. I wanted to wait for you to come home, but couldn't stay awake. Thank you for giving me somewhere to stay. See you in the morning, Ruth.<em>

He smiled at the note, pressing his hand to his jacket pocket to check that her passport was still there. It was. Deciding he wasn't hungry, he went upstairs to shower and sleep.

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><p>He'd just got into bed, pulling the covers over himself when there was a quiet tap at the door. "Yes?" he asked hesitantly, knowing it could only be Ruth.<p>

Sure enough, she opened the door, her face appearing in the minimal light. If his eyes hadn't been adjusted to the dark, he wouldn't have seen her. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Mm," she said. "I heard you come in. And the shower running. You know what, I shouldn't have disturbed…" she moved to shut the door.

"Wait. What is it?" he asked.

"No, it's silly.

"Ruth, you got up and walked on your bad leg to talk to me. What is it?"

"I wondered if… I could share your bed. I just want to be close to someone. But it's stupid and I shouldn't have disturbed you."

"Come in," he said without hesitating.

"You sure?" she asked.

"Mm," Harry said as he leaned across the bed and turned the lamp on. "Of course." She smiled at him and he suddenly knew he wouldn't get much sleep tonight. She wore his old dressing gown and she looked beautiful. Mani had taken her from Prague back to London, so she didn't have any of her things, meaning she'd borrowed some of his clothes. The knowledge of her body being covered up by clothes belonging to him was doing things to his imagination.

"I just feel… I don't want to be alone Harry, I want…"

"I know, Ruth," he said. "I understand." And he did. After what Mani put her through, he didn't blame her for wanting some company. And he was the company available. He shifted over and Ruth perched on the edge of the bed, before taking off her dressing gown. Harry closed his eyes, seeing her wearing one of his old shirts, which he knew was very thin. God, how was he supposed to resist her like that. Then she lifted her leg very gingerly before covering herself with the duvet, and he felt suddenly guilty for thinking about her that way.

"Thank you Harry," she said. "For everything."

"I haven't done very much," he said. "Not really. How's your leg?"

"It hurts," she said. "But it'll be fine." She kissed his cheek gently, or intended to. He turned his face a little, and she ended up kissing his lips. Gently to start with, then Harry's fingers tangled in her hair, pulling her close as the kiss deepened. She flicked her tongue against his lips and he groaned against her.

"No, stop," he moaned, pulling away from her. She looked surprised, and then embarrassed. "Ruth, I don't have infinite restraint. I have to stop or not stop at all."

"Sorry," she said, though the glint in her eyes made him think she wasn't really sorry at all. "Goodnight Harry."

He switched the lamp off. "Goodnight." He closed his eyes, expecting a long and sleepless night with Ruth's warm body next to him.

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><p>Ruth awoke with a jolt, suddenly and instantly. The sun was just beginning to creep under the edge of the curtain, so it was still early. Not knowing what had woken her, she rolled onto her uninjured side and was facing Harry's bare back. Oh. She'd come and joined him in the middle of the night, when her desire for him had got the better of her and had beaten her common sense.<p>

"Stop thinking" she told herself. Most of the problems between herself and Harry started when one (or both) of them over thought things. After Harry saying last night that he didn't have infinite restraint, she felt fairly certain that he'd welcome her advances, and it was in that frame of mind that she stroked his spine, her fingertips gently following the contours of his bones. Keeping her touch purposefully light, she was surprised that he stayed asleep. She could tell from his regular, even breathing. She'd assumed he'd be a light sleeper, but that didn't seem to be the case.

Acting on impulse, she pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck, enjoying the warmth of his skin under her lips. That did it. Harry's breath hitched, and his body tensed slightly as he woke up, but she didn't stop. She slid her hand around his body, palm resting on his stomach lightly, caressing. His hand moved and covered her own, pressing it to his skin as she kept kissing his back.

"Ruth," he said lowly.

"Mm?" she asked. He turned over and locked eyes with hers, desire clear on his face. His hand crept over her hip, pulling her body flush against his. She could feel his arousal against her lower abdomen, hard and insistent, and felt a flood of desire through her body. She wanted him. She always had. Very carefully, she wrapped her injured leg around him as his hand stroked her thigh. He slowed when he reached her wound and looked at her with a question in his eyes.

"Stop thinking," she said, her fingertips stroking his bare chest. He took her hand in his and kissed her fingertips.

"You sure you want this?" he asked.

"I'm sure." He kissed her deeply, almost before she'd finished speaking, and she sighed into the blissful kiss. His lips were so soft and passionate. Nothing in the world felt quite as good as being kissed by Harry Pearce.

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><p><strong>More when it's written. Thanks for reading and especially reviewing so far.<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh God."

"Mm?"

Ruth moaned as she curled up into a ball, the pain radiating from her leg. She'd been too long without her painkillers, and while her and Harry had been otherwise engaged she hadn't felt it. Or had been distracted from the pain by other more enjoyable activities. Now the pain was coming back in full force.

"Where are your pain killers?" he asked, stroking her hair.

"Bathroom shelf," she said. He quickly got out of bed and she turned so she could watch him walk naked to the bathroom. Mm, that was a good sight. He came back with a glass of water and her pills. She sat up and took them. "Thank you." She was shaking slightly as she swallowed them, not entirely from the pain.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked. "I'd have… well…"

"I didn't feel it," she said honestly. "Not until we'd… finished." He stroked her hair gently.

"I have to ask," he said quietly. "Last night, did you join me in bed… for sex?"

"No," she said. She didn't blame him for asking. After all, apart from being together while they were being tortured, they'd not really spent any time together in three years. And the two of them quite literally jumping into bed together wasn't a normal part of their usual behaviour. "No, I didn't. Not that I didn't want to, I did."

"But," he prompted.

"But I was lonely last night," she said. "I'd drifted off and… unsurprisingly I dreamt of Mani and… I needed someone."

He pulled the bed sheets over them both and then turned back to her. "You needed someone, or you needed me?"

"Honestly, both," she said. "I needed company. But I wanted you. I've… always wanted you Harry. And I wouldn't have had sex with anyone else this morning either."

"Why did you want to sleep with me?" he asked.

"You're not the only one who doesn't have infinite restraint, Harry," she said, lips twitching. "You were lying next to me shirtless and I… well, I wanted to touch you."

"I'm glad you did," he admitted. She smiled and kissed his shoulder briefly before settling back into bed comfortably, his arms around her.

"That was good," he said, stroking her hair gently.

"Good?" she asked, feeling a little deflated. In her opinion the sex had been more than merely good.

"Well," he said, letting his index finger trace random patterns on her arm. "It's been… rather a long time for me, and I didn't want to be a disappointment to you." He looked at her earnestly, as if daring her to lie. "Was it?"

She wanted to tease him, the strong Harry Pearce for suddenly being shy, but she instinctively knew that could damage their relationship before it'd even started. He was showing her his vulnerability and teasing wouldn't help. "Good doesn't cover it Harry." His eyes were studying hers. "Honestly," she said.

"Okay," he said. "I have something for you," he added.

"Something other than what we just had?" she asked, smiling.

"Your British passport," he said.

"What?"

"It's in my jacket. It's why I was so late coming home last night." Ruth sat up and put her head in her hands while he looked on.

"I'm… free?"

"To do whatever you like," he said. She hid her face from him and rubbed her eyes as she thought of the implications of that. He stroked her back but said nothing while she came to terms with the big shift in her life once again.

"I have to go back, Harry," she said.

"Back where?"

"To Prague," she said. "I've hurried away from a country once before. When I couldn't really say goodbye to people I wanted to and I didn't have the time to leave properly. I'm not doing it again if I can avoid it."

"Okay," he said. "I understand." And he did. "Do you want me to come with you, or would you prefer to go alone?" He'd hesitated before asking that, but it was better to get it out in the open than wonder.

"I want to go on my own," she said after a moment of consideration. "That doesn't mean anything, I just… feel I should. I'll only be a couple of days."

"Ruth, you don't have to explain yourself to me," he said. She sighed heavily, from the heart.

"Harry, I don't know… what we are. To each other and… after this morning I just feel a bit…"

"Confused?" he suggested.

"Yes," she said.

"Ruth, have your feelings towards me changed within the last three years?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, surprising him. "I feel more for you than I did when I left. I missed you more than I thought possible." She entwined her fingers with his and squeezed gently.

"Mm," he said. "I feel the same." He cleared his throat and she knew that he was uncomfortable talking about his feelings like this. "I threw myself into my work so I wouldn't think of you. It didn't work. I missed you, Ruth." She curled into him and he put his hand on her thigh possessively.

"Ah…" she moaned quietly in pain. He slid his palm down her leg, away from her stab wound.

"Sorry."

"Don't let go," she said.

"I won't."

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><p><strong>Just the epilogue to go. Thanks for reading and especially reviewing. I've really enjoyed writing this fic.<strong>


	9. One Week Later

**Epilogue: One week later.**

Harry locked his office door and pulled the blinds, not wanting to be disturbed. Ideally he'd be home when he had this phone call, but he had to be at work and it couldn't be avoided. He looked at his watch, and sure enough his phone rang on the hour.

"Ruth."

"Hi," she said.

"Nearly home?"

"No," she said. "I'm stuck in Vaclav airport. I'm sorry, massive delays are going on. I'm going to be really late."

"It's okay," he said. "Don't worry."

"How are things?"

"I'm fine," he said. "Work's work," he added shortly.

"Which you don't want to talk about," she said.

"How's Prague?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Beautiful," she said. "It's… good that I came back and said goodbye."

"I'm glad," he said softly. "How's your leg?"

"It's fine," she said. "But you were right," she admitted. "I needed a crutch to help me walk."

"Good," he said fervently. "I'm glad you're using it. And your arm?"

"More annoying than anything else. My leg was the deep one. It's going to take a few months to heal properly."

"But it will heal," he said. "That's the important thing. And I've finalised the flat for you." They'd discussed it before she left, and Ruth wanted her own space. There was an MI5 fund set aside for former agents and Ruth more than qualified. It had taken merely a few signed forms and two phone calls from Harry for the funds to be released.

"Oh, that's great. Thank you for sorting that out for me."

"I'd have done it for any of my agents. You know that."

"There was me thinking I was special."

"You are special," he murmured. He could almost hear her smiling.

"Oh, great," she said. "My flight's boarding. Finally."

"You have to go?"

"I have five minutes," she said softly.

"Good," he said. Someone tried his locked office door and he swore under his breath. "Come back in ten minutes," he growled in the direction of the door. A knock wasn't forthcoming so he turned his attention back to the phone and Ruth.

"I'm distracting you," Ruth said.

"I work so much overtime, five minutes won't hurt. Central London isn't on the verge of explosion right now."

"Well, that's good to hear, considering I'm flying there," she said.

"Ruth…"

"Don't worry," she said. "After the things I've seen in Thames House, I don't think I'll ever fly comfortably again. I always worry."

"I'll see you in a few hours," he said.

"Yes," she said. "I know it's only been two days, but I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," he said.

"I know it'll be late when I get to London, but do you…. want to see me?"

"I'd love to," he said. "Whatever time you get in."

"See you later then," she said, clearly pleased.

"Bye, Ruth." She put the phone down and he closed his eyes for a moment, committing her voice to memory perfectly. He'd never before heard her sounding quite so content and happy, and the thought that he could be responsible for even a little piece of her happiness… He didn't ever want to forget that.

"Harry!"

"Yes, what is it?" he said, getting up and unlocking the door with a sigh. Work was calling.

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><p><strong>Thank you to all the readers and reviewers. Hope you enjoyed this story. x<strong>


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